Day 26
Carol and I were settling into our new place. We were laying out our clothes, shoes, bathroom items, and plugging in our devices… Hey! Where are the boys? Wilma and Julie were hanging by the bedside table checkin’ out the latest videos from Tech Guru but the boys were nowhere to be found. Julie went bluescreen and then posted a flashing neon red arrow pointing towards the kitchen. Hmmm, we did check out the kitchen right before we went into our room and I might have set them down because my hands were full.
Sure enough in the corner beside the Delonghi Dedica espresso maker and under the Kobe range hood were Randy and Fred getting cozy with some black Italian toaster, and she was SMOKIN’!
She was radiant in black enamel outerwear with chrome trim and a ball and lever control stick. It was a Smeg! Designed by Vittori Bertazzoni in 1948 she was upper crust and too hot for those two yokels. They were in her slots, wide ones with stainless wire sleeves. She was popping them up and down and they were bouncing to and fro, especially Fred, who was getting big air because he was so light.
Randy and Fred were doing high fives at each other. First there were tiny numbers at the bottom of their screens and slowly they would get bigger and bigger and move towards the top until finally giant number 5s were flashing and their blue LEDs were like tiny laser beams. Somebody was going to blow a circuit board!
Smeg saw me first and let the boys down easy and pulled the plug on their shenanigans; then Randy saw me and went black, but young Fred was doing pirouettes he was so excited. Then Randy posted a picture of me with my new haircut on his screen to warn Fred that the jig was up and Fred froze. Yup, a giant 5 was glued to his screen and he couldn’t shake it off. Boy was he embarrased. I bailed him out one more time and held his power button until he went into restart mode.
Fred tried to tell me that’s how they make Smart appliances by melding a computer to an analog device. It looked to me that Smeg was doing the melding and Fred was the simple machine. Plus what are you going to do with a computerized toaster?
Soon after Smeg was warming up to the Liebherr microwave and trading stories of quiche Lorraine dripping onto the heat sensors to smouldering croissants that were left unattended. Oh those stupid human beings, so undependable.
Blue Delivery 