Chapter 3: Are we there yet?

It’s going to be a busy day so we’re up at dawn (dawnish… okay, it’s 8:30). I go through my morning routine minus my date with the tub, while Carol organizes the suitcases, the in-car meal, the snacks, the itinerary, waters the plants, empties the garbage, sets the lamp timer, and locks the windows and doors. If I knew she would take this long I would’ve hooked up with Steve. Come on girl… pitter, patter, let’s get-at-er. Time’s a-wastin’. By now I’ve been warming up the car for ten minutes.

Our car is a classic. Well, not an actual classic in the truest sense of the word. It’s not fast, it’s not sexy or even comfortable but with the rear glass open I have hauled 12 sixteen-foot 4x4s; one end perched up against the windshield and the other end hovering in space six feet beyond the back bumper, plus there were 18 concrete patio blocks in the back seat. Let’s see your Mercedes B250 do that! Plus it’s black, like the Batmobile.

This is our first trip to Vernon in about 6 months and we’re eager to see our daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter, but not before we make our first stop at Costco in Kelowna.

The 3 hour drive is uneventful. I was able to lick most of the mustard off my shirt from the ham sandwich that Carol packed and learned all about porcupines and aspirin from my downloaded podcasts, which put Carol to sleep before we pulled into the busiest parking lot in the western world.

Of course I was able to park in a spot right outside the entrance door… hahahahaha, like that would ever happen. No, we had to park so far away that my GPS would have a hard time finding our car. I dropped breadcrumbs along the way so we could trace our way back. Well, they actually spilled from my shirt from the aforementioned sandwich and cookies, but it was still a good idea. I saw that trick in a cowboy movie when I was a kid (back in the middle of the last century).

After following proper Covid protocol in the mile-long line to get in and grab a buggy we finally stepped through the doors into Costcoland.

Immediately to my right was the electronics section, seductively positioned so every male entertained thoughts of upgrading to that new 85 inch, UHD, 4K, LCD, Smart tv that everybody deserves to have. Damn! Why didn’t we bring in one of those giant flatbed cargo haulers instead of this puny buggy (that’s still half the size of our main bathroom). Maybe I should pick up a couple of laptops instead?

Even with everyone being masked you could still read the greed in most people’s eyes. The commercial-sized quantities of every item just reeked of North American capitalism at it’s zenith. I didn’t even know you could buy a gross of parfait glasses or a 3-pack of microwaves. Hmmm, it might be handy if I ever wanted to heat up some soup the next time I’m in our crawlspace.

Let’s see… cheese, 8 pounds of coffee, a 4-pack of bacon, cheese, 2-pack of frozen pot stickers, a 2,000 dose bottle of Tylenol (they make great parting gifts after my in-laws come over for Happy Hour), a flagpole, 3-pack of step stools, and cheese. Oh, and the 180-roll pack of toilet paper. Good thing we brought the roof rack for the car.

Exit the parking lot and now the 45 minute drive to Vernon. Just eight more stops before we roll into the driveway to see our family; Salvation Army, Value Village, 2 thrift stores, 2 garden centers, liquor store, and finally a cheese shoppe.

Because we are law abiding, conscientious, bubble keepers we will be using a private entrance to our separate basement suite. We will still be able to shout up the stairwell to communicate and later we will be able to stand out on the deck and gesture through the living room window at our long lost family members. Because we are loved Rachel has left a bottle of wine and a cheese plate on the outside table for us. Within minutes we are bumping our glasses against the window shouting CHEERS!! with a mouthful of gruyere spilling onto the windowsill.

After a couple of hours we are sitting with a blanket around our shoulders, huddled on lawn chairs watching tv through the glass. It’s starting to get frosty. They had a lovely chicken stirfry with cheesecake for dessert while eating in the dining room. We ordered a large double pepperoni and had it delivered to the backyard. Yum.

This will be the last that we will see of them until tomorrow evening as they retire about 8:30 because Eddie has a nine hour, 200km bike ride through the mountains with his friend starting at 8 am, while Rachel has 3 virtual exercise/yoga/pilates classes to attend to in the morning and then a brief stint of day-drinking with her friends until suppertime. Carol still has four more thrift stores to check out (our granddaughter’s favourite outing… eyeroll) and I will be doing repairs on their house as soon as I wake up. It’s great to get away from home.